END OF 2018 OPEN ENROLLMENT PERIOD (41 states)

Time: D H M S

UPDATE: Off-Topic: And you all thought I was kidding...

Some Guy, March 1st, 2016

So here it is...Super Tuesday. Unless the GOP base suddenly decides that they don't want a xenophobic, misogynistic, hate-mongering, con-artist moron to be their standard-bearer, it's looking very likely that by the time midnight rolls around, Donald Drumpf will indeed be almost unstoppable as the Republican Presidential Nominee for 2016.

Which means, aside from the GOP establishment being on collective suicide watch, Mr. Drumpf will have to think about who his running mate will be for the general election.

...OK, so here's who this person has to be:

  • NATURAL BORN U.S. CITIZEN
  • 35 YEARS OLD
  • YOUNG
  • PHOTOGENIC
  • FEMALE
  • JEWISH
  • TRUSTED IMPLICITLY

Which is why I present to you the only possible 2016 Republican nominee for Vice President of the United States....Ivanka Drumpf.

That's right. She was born on October 30, 1981, meaning she'll turn 35 years old just 9 days before the general election. She's young, she's photogenic, she's Jewish (seriously...she converted). She's been working with/for her father for years, so he can trust her...and, as a bonus, she appears (from what I've seen so far) to be more intelligent and capable than he is anyway.

Philip Bump, Washington Post, May 28, 2016:

Donald Trump should pick Ivanka as his running mate

...The beauty of this entire thing is that, for once, it’s not totally outside the realm of possibility. I approached this exercise as more of a thought experiment than a real effort at advocacy, but as I was exploring it, realized that ... it’s not actually all that crazy. Especially given that the person making the decision somehow manages to intersperse completely rational decisions with utterly incomprehensible ones within the span of a few minutes. Donald Trump — who has even mentioned choosing his daughter as his running mate in the past — is as likely to pick Ivanka as he is Mitt Romney, Bob Corker, Shaquille O'Neal or the skeleton of Betsy Ross.

Chris Stirewalt, FOX News, July 5, 2016:

CHARLES PAYNE (HOST): Chris, and finally, no woman [for Trump's vice presidential pick]. Would that be seen as pandering, then, if Donald Trump went after a woman? 

CHRIS STIREWALT: Yes, but sometimes it works. I mentioned Jan Brewer, former governor of Arizona, only because Republicans hate her. A lot of Republicans hate her. She hates a lot of Republicans. She has been a thorn in the side of her own party and of Democrats. She's kind of trans-partisan. But my favorite pick, my absolutely favorite pick, I think, is his daughter Ivanka. I think that is the best choice that he could make. You Trump the Trump. Everybody likes her. Has anybody ever said that they didn't like her? Everybody likes her. I think Trump would be smart to choose -- I know this is crazy. I know this sounds totally crazy, Charles, but I think he would be smart to pick his own daughter, put her on there and say, "We're the Trumps, this is the family business, this is what we do. I'm going to make the big decisions; she's going to run the day-to-day, and it's going to be fantastic."

PAYNE: You know I got to tell you something, there might be something to that. She's extraordinarily popular. Certainly her favorables a lot higher than the dad's. Right? 

STIREWALT: Yes. Yes. And you know what? My point in all of this is, when it's a crazy election year, when weird stuff is happening, you got to embrace the weird. You cannot try to fight it and go straight at the end.

Hoo, boy...why do I have this sinking feeling about where they got the idea...

UPDATE: U.S. Senator Bob Corker, The Hill, July 6, 2016:

Sen. Bob Corker (R-Tenn.) has a suggestion for Donald Trump's running mate — his daughter Ivanka.

“His best running mate, by the way, would be Ivanka,” Corker said Wednesday after removing himself from consideration to be Trump’s vice presidential pick. 

"I know that wouldn’t pass muster, probably, but I don’t know that I’ve met a more composed, brilliant, beautiful-in-every-way person," he continued, adding that Trump's son Eric is "equally impressive."

The U.S. Constitution requires a person to be at least 35 years to be president or vice president. Ivanka will turn 35 on Oct. 30, a little more than a week before Election Day. 

Dear Lord, what have I done?

UPDATE: Eric Trump, Politico, July 7, 2016:

Appearing on "Fox & Friends" Thursday morning, Eric Trump remarked of the clip, "I agree, right? She's got the beautiful looks, right? She's got — she's smart, she's smart, smart, smart. ... She's certainly got my vote."

"Is she 35?" co-host Steve Doocy asked, in reference to the constitutional requirement that the president be at least 35 years old.

"She'll just be 35," Eric Trump said, noting that her birthday is at Oct. 30, "so she'd just make that by about by, you know, seven, eight days."

"And she definitely has the business sense," co-host Ainsley Earhardt remarked.

Trump added, "She's amazing."

UPDATE: The New York Times, July 7, 2016:

Would Donald Trump Quit if He Wins the Election? He Doesn’t Rule It Out

Presented in a recent interview with a scenario, floating around the political ether, in which the presumptive Republican nominee proves all the naysayers wrong, beats Hillary Clinton and wins the presidency, only to forgo the office as the ultimate walk-off winner, Mr. Trump flashed a mischievous smile.

“I’ll let you know how I feel about it after it happens,” he said, minutes before leaving his Trump Tower office to fly to a campaign rally in New Hampshire.

Yup. There's a not-completely-out-of-the-realm-of-possibility chance that Ivanka Trump will end up becoming the next President of the United States in January 2017.